There is no turning back now....

I'm sitting here in a hotel in Decater Texas. (right outside Dallas/Fort Worth)

Tomorrow...

• I meet my new boyfriend, Dr. Stowers , in person.
• Attend a 4 hour Lap-Band education class.
• Register at the hospital.

Tuesday morning I'll be Banded!

Oh.... My..... Goodness!!!

This is really gonna happen!

The Man-of-My-Dreams is here with me, thank goodness.
Between he and Dr. Stowers, I'm in great hands.

Now....
How to calm my nerves.
I'm excited, nervous, and scared all at once.

This is something I've worked so hard for...
I guess I just can't believe It is finally really happening!

I'll keep you posted on how things are progressing...

Liquid Diets Kinda Suck and Kinda ROCK!

Well, I'm on day 4 of my total liquid diet.
And let me tell ya.... It STINKS!!

Cooking food for your family and not even being able to taste it to check the seasoning, then sitting down with a glass of protein drink Sucks!

Walking through the kitchen and finding yourself grabbing a handfull of nuts only to have to put them back Sucks!

Getting to the bottom of your drink from Sonic then throwing away the cherry Sucks!

The anger I surprisingly felt towards everyone around me Sucks!

The fact that most everything I am aloud to eat drink is sweet and I'd really like something savory instead of chicken broth Sucks!

Cutting cheesecake and serving it to my family and not even licking the knife Sucks!

BUT!...

The 19lbs I've Lost in the past three weeks ROCKS!!!
Ha!

4 more days to go!

I miss chewing!

Well, my first week or so of the pre-op diet went well.

I was actually really proud of myself!
Even on vacation with my sister and mother, I did well and stuck to low-fat/low calorie meals.

Yesterday, I started the liquid only portion of the diet.
This part is not so fun.
I never realized how much I'd miss food.
Note.. I did NOT say I missed something in my stomach, I miss food!
I miss chewing, and the act of eating.
The taste.
The texture.
The family dinner ritual.

Cooking yummy meals for my family then sitting down to eat watery broth doesn't bring joy to my soul.

But... I am doing this.
And... I will keep doing this.
And... I will continue to bitch to you about it.
So... I'm thinkin we all have something unpleasant to deal with don't we?

Two Weeks From Today.....

Two weeks from today...
I will be on my way to a healthier me.

Two weeks from today...
I'll have no more excuses.

Two weeks from today...
I'll lose one of my biggest (and favorite) coping mechanisms.

Two weeks from today...
Will be the start of my last chance.

Two weeks from today...
I will have back up.

Two weeks from today...
I will start eating to live.... NOT living to eat.

Two weeks from today...
I will be on my way to feeling better about myself.

Two weeks from today...
I will need to start saving for SMALLER clothes instead of bigger ones.

Two weeks from today...
I will have the tool to help me change my body, my self esteem, my energy level...
My life!

Two Weeks From Today...
My new life starts.

20 days and counting!

20 days from today I'll be banded.

I have been working so long towards this goal, and now that it's actually going to happen, I'm getting nervous.

I'm not scared of the surgery.
I'm not scared of the process.
I'm not scared of the work it's going to take.

I'm scared that this is my last chance.
I mean... I've tried everything else and it didn't last...
What if this doesn't work either?
What will I do then?

I've always knew surgery was an option...I always knew I could always resort to it if I couldn't do it on my own.
If this doesn't work..... I'm out of options.

I guess I could always be the Jolly Fat Lady of our town.
I could play Mrs. Clause at the Christmas fair.
I suppose I could make the lovely fat people clothes with horizontal stripes and BIG RED flowers on the front work for me.
I would find an assortment of Moo Moo's to wear.

But that isn't really what I had in mind for myself.

I'm sure this will work.
No... really! kinda.

Got a Date!!!

Finally got a date for my surgery!
I'll be on my way to a healthier & lighter life on October 20th!

I start my pre-op diet next week. (gotta shrink my liver because they have to move it to get the band in place)
Sunday Oct 18th = Fly to Dallas.
Monday Oct 19th = 4-hour education class, pre-op Dr visit, Hospital registration.
Tuesday Oct 20th = BANDED!
Wed Oct 21st = fly home!

I'm SO excited!
Now the nerves will start.
EEEK! It's really gonna happen!!