I Don't See It...

Well, here I am....
Three months out from surgery.

• I've got a few new scars.
• I have totally new eating habits.
  
• I'm almost 70lbs lighter.
• I'm wearing clothes in a smaller size.
• Everybody says they see a big difference in my appearance.

Everyone except....
ME!

Logically, I know my body is changing, my old clothes are falling off of me!
I've lost almost 70lbs! Thats a LOT of weight!

But...
When I look in the mirror...
I don't see it.

I guess I feel like I went through and changed so many things...
There should be some dramatic, and visible-to-me, difference.

I'm just not seeing it!
I have kinda been on a quest for change.
I've gotten nails. (as my reward for losing 65lbs)
I changed the color of my hair.
I've gotten some new clothes.

But, it's just not working.
I'm still looking for that "WOW! I look different!!" feeling when I look in the mirror.

I hope it comes soon...

Bandsters Hell... Oh Joy!

It's officially a new year.
And I am officially in, what they call, Bandsters Hell.
Bandsters Hell is when someone who has a Lap-Band in place, but they do not have enough of a fill to give them restriction.
In other words... I can eat as much as I want and the band does not stop it.
I was one of the few lucky ones that didn't enter this phase immediately after getting my band.
I had restriction for the first few months.

But, I have lost 64lbs.
And you don't just lose a layer of fat from your thighs and butt.. but you also lose some of the fat thats around your internal organs...

I lost some of the fat from around my stomach..
Thats a good thing...
But it also made my band looser without the fat to make it tight.

So, here I find myself in The dreaded Bandters Hell.
And... They picked the right name for it!

I'm doing ok so far...
But it's 100% willpower now, and we all know I don't do very well relying on willpower alone, or I wouldn't be this fat to start with!

The Man-of-My-Dreams started a new job last week...
The first paycheck.... I'm Running, NOT walking to get my first fill!
Will keep you posted!